I feel a bit overwhelmed by emotion. I thought I would write to share what is practically my last night in my house. I lived here for 7 years. I have not lived anywhere for 7 years since my childhood home. And I leave to chase a dream. I am leaving to find something that I lack, happiness. You see, I have been fielding questions from friends and strangers about why I am leaving. Most people with commonsense leave a city because of work, or college or any number of reasonable and practical things. I choose to leave for happiness. Am I fooling myself?
Packing the boxes after 7 years is like strolling down memory lane. My real estate agent (same one that I used to buy my place) reminded me this morning, that when I bought this place at age 28, I said there was no way I would live there for 7 years. I would probably be married by then (like most people in their mid-30s). Now I find myself furthest from that statement. It’s been a great 7 years here on ol’ Terrapin Place. Love found; love lost, jobs worked; jobs left. But I wouldn’t trade my life with anybody over the past 7 years.
But it isn’t about the last 7 years. Its about the next 7. I refuse to follow the rat-race of life. I refuse to not accept the challenge of moving to a new town and meeting new people. I refuse to seek happiness everyday of the next 7 years. I refuse to continue to dream anymore…I want to grasp it and live it. Some people dream about what they want and look back with regret. When I am old and grasping for the last few breaths, I want to be able to say that, “I tried my best, I gave it my all. I never settled.” Nobody is going to ask me during that moment if I wish I worked more…they are going to ask me how I lived my life. I know how I am going to answer that question.
So yes, this is scary. I may fail. Any number of things can make this leap of faith a failure. But if you came from where I came from, you would realize that I am playing with house money now. And right now I am going all-in for happiness. Happiness isn’t any particular place on earth, but for me, its Austin, Texas and that’s where I am going to call home.
You want to know what is amazing? All the adults ask the same question about my move and don’t quite understand. My niece Lauren asked me why I was leaving, and my reply was to find happiness. She said “oh okay.” Perhaps only children are the only ones that still understand happiness…well before they understand the ridiculousness of the rat-race. If that is true, that is sad.
So farewell to “reasonable and practical.” Hello happiness.